Monday 28th April 2008
The Oxford Murders (UK/Spain)
Director - Alex De La Iglesia
Cast - Elijah Wood, John Hurt, Leonor Watling...


* * * * *




The Oxford Murders is reportedly billing itself as a 'thinking mans' The Da Vinci Code'. If this is true, then never has there been such a damning critique of Darren Brown's novel. For The Oxford Murders is quite ridiculous, and only those who have undergone a lobotomy will find it the least bit entertaining.

A harsh assessment? Yes. But still, some of the glaring mistakes that Alex De La Iglesia makes are simply unforgivable. The Da Vinci Code was utter rubbish, yet at least it was endearing and mildly entertaining because Brown had took the time to create believable characters and fragments of fact. De La Iglesis however, throws any sort of believability right out of the window in the opening minutes. Elijah Wood (In a similar way to Michael J Fox used to be) is a very difficult actor to cast. He is woefully mis-cast in this picture. Not one, but two female protagonists fall head over heels for Wood's character in the space of literally hours. One is even brazen enough to brand around the 'L' word. People have chewed gum for a longer time than it has taken these women to surrender to Wood's charm. As likable and handsome as he may be, Wood is certainly no Brando or Bogart. The sight of this maths geek licking spaghetti off of Leonor Watlings chest is preposterous.

As is the pseudo-intellectual jargon that litters the dialogue. It doesn't take a mathematician to work out that what they are saying makes no sense at all. The plot has so many holes in it, you could drive a double decker bus through them. The saving grace of the whole movie is John Hurt, who just about manges to escape with his dignity in tact. What is most frustrating, is that you can see what De La Iglesia is trying to do, and he has managed to assemble a great cast. Yet his execution way off mark. The way Almodovar actress Watling is restricted to nothing other than having her cleavage photographed is quite laughable, even borderline offensive at times.

This film has very few redeeming features over than the shock and awe factor of watching just how badly everyone involved managed to get it wrong.